Happy New Birthday

“Happy New Birthday!” Shouted the cheerful nurse who entered our room at 6:00 AM. We took a long pause.

Yes, that’s right, it is Jason’s new birthday. Something we had never heard but makes a great deal of sense. Today, March 5, 2013 is a day we hope to be able to celebrate. A day we can look back to and say, “That was one of the best decisions we have made.” A day about which we can tell our children (if we choose, as a married couple, to have any children), A day we can smile about and cheerfully celebrate every time it arrives.

While there are some around us who look at us with furrowed brows, pursed lips, and concerned eyes, we are looking at each other with excitement. Don’t get us wrong, we are not enjoying the pain and the idea that this may not work. But we believe that it will work. And we are hopeful.

No one can fully understand what it is that we have gone through together. Perhaps they can quote facts and numbers, and repeat the story as it was told to them by someone who heard it from someone who told them, but only Jason can know what he felt and understand his situation.  I am proud of who my husband has become despite all that he has faced.

Today is a good day but we have a long way to go. Let’s hope that the effects of the chemotherapy do not make him too ill. Let us also hope that, during the three months of home isolation, he will not be exposed to any sickness that could harm his health and recovery. Let us hope that in the next six months of avoiding groups and events he will not get bored or fatigued. Let us hope this works.

Just moments ago Aaron left the surgery unit to arrive on the same floor, in the room across the hall from Jason. My husband stood in the hallway , so thrilled to see his big brother coming. And then Jason disappeared, ducking into his own room. What happened? I smiled at Aaron, who likely doesn’t remember this, and then I peeked into my husband’s bedroom.

I saw the tears splash on the faux wood floor before my eyes gazed into my husband’s. He was crying. His cheeks were red, his eyes were small and wet, and he put his face in his hands. Reaching for some tissues, I asked him what was wrong. He explained to me that he didn’t want to have to see his brother in that condition; on a bed, tired, eyes barely open, absent of expression. And all for him.

Whatever is happening with Aaron and Erica in their room is their own business. We have been reassured by doctors and nurses that he will be just fine. Other than that, we will wait until the facts emerge before we speculate about his condition and what he went through. I hope he has some funny stories and we hope to visit his room soon. What I can discuss is Aaron’s contribution and dedication to his brother. Jason had two perfect donor matches. When doctors said they were going to choose Aaron, he didn't say, “No.” He didn't ask them to choose the other donor instead of him (and they would have used the other donor if Aaron would have denied donating). Instead, he came to the hospital today knowing that he would undergo a surgical procedure to harvest his bone marrow for his brother. No doubt that his back will be sore for a while, and that he has undergone quite an experience, but now Jason and Aaron will have something to bond over for the rest of their lives. Aaron is a giver, just like Jason, and we are so thankful for his willingness to give what could possibly save my husband’s life.

If all goes well, Jason will be receiving a transplant very soon. And, if all goes well, Jason will share some similarities to his brother.

After a bone marrow transplant, the recipient won’t really know if it is working or not for three weeks. After that, it can still take months for it to grow and be stable. That’s a long time to be unsure of the success of the procedure. But if it works Jason could get Aaron’s allergies, and he most certainly will get the same blood type as his brother. Currently Jason is O-. In a few weeks or months Jason could be A-. If Jason’s donor would have been his sister, Jason’s blood type would have changed but so would his blood gender; his blood would have become female blood. No problems with that, just a neat fact.

So, today we celebrate Jason’s new birthday! Looking forward to the future!

On a less intense note, last night Jason’s upper lip starting swelling. They cannot narrow down the cause but it was pretty funny to see him bumble around here like Daffy Duck.